


Useless Gays: The Prequel

by Emyvio



Series: Useless Gays [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, And a good Flirt, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, Broken Bones, Child Neglect, Gender Dysphoria, Guys in Dresses, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Groping, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24646558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emyvio/pseuds/Emyvio
Summary: Takes place before Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays, but can be read after. Each chapter will be of a specific event that's been mentioned in WNaUG. Will not be in chronological order.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Useless Gays [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781953
Comments: 173
Kudos: 275





	1. Why Janus owes Virgil a Katana

**Author's Note:**

> WNaUG Chapter 5:  
> Virgil looked up, Remus and Janus still eating. “Hey J, remember that favor you owe me?”  
> Janus looked up, looking perfectly calm and collected, even though his hangover was probably worse than Virgil’s. “Which one?”  
> “That time you groped a stranger, thinking it was Remus. You were too drunk to properly respond so I took the blame. And the ban from that club.”  
> He cringed, taking a sip of his coffee. “Ah, I remember now. What do you need?”

Virgil sighed as the music pounded in his ears. It was currently Remus’ 21st birthday month, and he wanted to celebrate by visiting the club for the first time (legally). Virgil took a sip of soda. Normally, he’d be the one chugging alcohol, but Virgil had a feeling that he’d be the designated driver tonight. Virgil craned his neck over the crowd, trying to spot Remus’ shaggy mop of hair. He was supposed to be getting Remus and Janus drinks. Where was he?

_ Smack! _

Virgil down at Janus, who had drunkenly slapped some guy’s ass, and was currently groping it. Judging by the look in Janus’ face, he didn’t seem to realize that this wasn’t Remus. And judging by the look on stranger’s face, he was quickly realizing that Janus wasn’t whoever he originally thought was groping him. Virgil knew that Janus was too drunk to hold a decent conversation, so he quickly pulled Janus behind him. The stranger turned around and- oh, he’s a hot stranger.

“What the hell, man! Why the fuck are you groping me?”

Flirt Mode: Activated

Anxiety smirked. “Hello there, beautiful. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Such a pretty boy shouldn’t be out all on his own. So, what brings you here?”

Hot Stranger snarled. “Well, I  _ was  _ celebrating my birthday with the loves of my life. But SOMEONE decided to molest me halfway through my favorite song!”

Suddenly, a security guard was standing between Anxiety and Hot Stranger. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Anxiety huffed. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll go.” He gave one last wink at Hot Stranger, “See you, Hot Stuff.” He turned back to Janus, who was staring off into space. “Come on, let’s get your boyfriend and get out.”

They were soon escorted out of the building, and Anxiety was told to never be seen on the premises again. Remus soon found them, and they were on their way back to Janus’ place. Virgil looked through his rearview mirror and saw his friends making out in the backseat. He sighed, eyes turning back to the road. Ever since they got together a few months ago, those two were almost always showing SOME form of physical intimacy.

Virgil’s mind traveled back to the Hot Stranger. Virgil could understand why Janus would confuse him for Remus. The two  _ had _ looked similar, and both of them had a certain…  _ flair  _ to them. If Virgil was  _ that _ intoxicated, he would probably get the two mixed up.

Virgil sighed as they pulled up to Janus’ house. He looked back and saw Janus and Remus curled up in the back seat, both fast asleep. He quickly shook them awake, wanting to get inside as soon as possible.  _ Janus owes me so much after this. _


	2. Thick as Thieves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WNaUG Chapter 6: "ReeRee was my partner in crime. We did everything together..."
> 
> This was originally going up on Saturday, but I'm still in pain from the dental work done yesterday and I feel bad for not having a chapter from WNaUG to give you. So, you get this chapter early (hooray!)
> 
> Oh, and this chapter is divided into 3 flashbacks: The first one has Roman at 5 years old, 10 in the second one, and somewhere between 20 and 24 in the third one (after high school, before WNaUG). For those of you who are reading this and not WNaUG (which makes no sense but okay), Rebecca/ReeRee is Remus' deadname. Remus and Roman are fraternal twins, with Remus being slightly older. Remus will be using the name Rebecca and she/her pronouns because:  
> 1.) Remus didn't realize that he was a boy until he was 13, so he wouldn't use male pronouns yet.  
> 2.) This chapter is all in Roman's POV. Roman never knew that Remus transitioned, since he ran away before telling Roman. So, until someone tells him, Roman will always use she/her pronouns when describing ReeRee.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Hopefully the next chapter of WNaUG will be out tomorrow

“Come on, Ro! It’s not  _ that  _ high!” She laughed, striking a dramatic pose.

“Yes, it is!” 8-year-old Roman yelled, balling his hands up at his sides. She  _ knew  _ he was afraid of heights! Roman started crying, and he glared at the bottom of the tree. He was such a crybaby. Why couldn’t he be brave like her?

She stopped laughing. Roman looked up and saw her smiling softly at him, no longer teasing. “(Sigh) Here, give me your hand. We’ll go up together.” She crouched on the tree branch, using one hand to steady herself and lowered the other one towards Roman.

Roman frowned, eyeing the hand in suspicion. “You’re not gonna drop me, right?”

She raised her arm to place over her heart. “I swear as your big sister-”

“By six minutes!”

“I won’t drop you. Or pretend to drop you. Or shake the branch. Or drop down and leave you up here-”

“Okay, I get it!” Roman yelled, stomping his foot.

She smiled again, the type of smile that Roman wishes he saw more often. It was the smile that said  _ I love you. You mean the world to me. I will always protect you.  _ “I would  _ never  _ use your fear for my own amusement. You know that, Ro. And if you fall, I’ll catch you. I promise.” She extended her hand again. “Now get your butt up here! I have somethin’ to show ya!”

Roman grabbed her hand, and there was a scary  _ woosh  _ before he was in the tree. He buried his head in her hair, so scared.  _ We’re so high up and we’re gonna fall fall fall fall fa- _

“Shh,” her hand rubbed against his back, grounding him. “We’re fine, we’re safe, nothin’s gonna happen I swear.” They sat like that for a few minutes, Romans sobs slowly turning into sniffles. She slowly pulled away, using her hands to keep Roman steady. “Better?” He nodded. “Good. Now look.” She pointed somewhere off to his left. He forced himself to look away from her face, his fears resurfacing. He took a deep breath before turning towards his left.

“Woah.” There, on the neighboring branch, was a bird’s nest. There were two eggs, and Roman watched as cracks slowly formed along the eggs. The two birds were nearly identical, with the bird on the right hatching seconds before its sibling. “They’re so pretty.”

“That’s us.” She relaxed on the branch, her back leaning up against the tree. “Birds of a feather flock together. And we’ll stay together, even when our wings are plucked and our dreams are shattered. Twins forever, right?”

He opened his mouth to respond. “Righ-”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Roman shrieked in fright, suddenly losing his grip on the branch. He screamed as he started to fall.

“Ro!” Suddenly, arms were wrapped around him, and he landed on top of her. “Ah! God that hurt! Are you okay Ro!”

Ro nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He got up and gasped. “Your arm!” Her arm was twisted from where it was crushed underneath him.

She went to move it and hissed in pain. “I think it’s broken.” She smiled, but Roman could see tears in her eyes. “At least I caught you! I told you that you’d be fine!” Before Roman could respond, his mother marched up to them. Momma immediately began to scold them, only noticing her broken arm when she went to grab her and she screamed in pain.

Roman was told to clean his room while they went to the doctor. When they returned, she had a lime green cast on her arm. Momma took away their favorite toys (her dolls and Roman’s foam sword) before telling them to clean up the kitchen. Roman grabbed a red sharpie, signing his name on her cast. She smirked. “Your ‘m’ looks like a ‘v.’”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!” She realized what had happened an laughed. “Good one, Ro.” She used her good hand to ruffle his hair. Her special smile was back, the one that she only gave him.

He giggled, leaning into her touch. “Thanks, ReeRee!”

* * *

_ Boom! _

Roman shrieked, pulling his blanket over his head. He could hear the heavy rain against his window. He loved rain (he stomped in puddles while she made mud pies) but he  _ hated  _ thunder. It was so loud and he could never tell when it would-

_ Boom! _

He shrieked again. He flushed in embarrassment. He was 10, for God’s sake! He shouldn’t be afraid of something as silly as thunder! His sister had gotten over these stupid fears years ago! His mind wandered to his sister.  _ Can I? _

He shook his head. It’s really late at night, she’s probably sleeping. When they were younger, Roman would go stay in her room during thunderstorms (he’d tried going to his parents room once, but they yelled at him and sent him back to his room). But that was when they were younger. They were 10 now, and she kicked him out last time he went into her room uninvited.

_ Boom! _

Roman jumped, falling off of his bed.  _ That’s it!  _ He quickly grabbed his Dragon Witch (a stuffed animal that Uncle Terrence gave him for his 7th birthday) and ran out of his room. He made his way down the hall until he reached the pink door. Roman scrunched up his nose. His sister  _ hated  _ pink. She had asked their father if they could repaint her door green, and he yelled at her. He opened the door, stepping into her room. Since their parents never went into their rooms anymore, she had redecorated it. The pink walls were covered in drawings of green tentacles. The floor was filthy, with dirty clothes and torn drawings strewn about. Roman was surprised to see his sister awake, sketching a new tentacle drawing. “Thought you might show up.” She said, setting down her sketchpad. She patted part of the bed next to her. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

Roman hurried over, diving under the blankets. He shrieked as another clap of thunder hit. He felt a hand in his hair and tensed. The hand paused for a moment, before slowly rubbing Roman’s scalp. He relaxed, leaning into the touch. He always loved his sister, but he loved this version of her the most. When she realized that he was  _ actually  _ scared, not startled or mildly uncomfortable. She wouldn’t tease him or ask unnecessary questions. Sometimes she would twist together a tale from nothing, concocting a story of pain and hardship, of love and trust. Other times she wouldn’t speak, offering silent comfort and protection against the world around them. He sighed, finally drifting off to dreamless slumber. The last thing he knew before darkness took him was the press of her lips to his forehead as he drifted off. “Goodnight, Ro.”

_ Goodnight, Ree... _

* * *

“Ro, you gotta wake up!”

Roman woke up with a gasp, his chest heavy. He forced himself to breathe, shaking like a leaf. He felt a hand in his hair, and he immediately lunged, burying his face in her shoulder. He sobbed, listening to the gentle shushing sounds as he was rocked back and forth. He felt a second hand on his back, and he started babbling. “ReeRee, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve trusted you.”

“Oh, sweety.” Roman jerked up. Patton stared back, tears running down his cheeks. He felt the hand on his back retreat, and he grabbed it, bringing Logan closer. Patton’s hand pressed against his cheek, and Roman suddenly realized that he was crying.

“’m sorry.” He muttered, wiping his eyes.

“It’s okay, sweety.” Patton assured him, pulling Roman into a side hug. He felt Logan do the same on his left. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Roman shook his head, still feeling slightly despondent. “Okay. Do you wanna stay up and cuddle?” Roman nodded, sighing when he felt Patton’s fingers in his hair. In less than an hour, they would all drift back into a dreamless sleep. A few hours from now, they would each go to work, a cheerful facade in place. But for now, they stayed there, silent tears streaking down their faces. For Patton and Logan, it was for the pain their lover was going through. For Roman, it was for the sister that he had pushed away,

_ You said you would always be there to catch me, ReeRee. But I pushed you away. Now I’m so scared that I’ll fall again. What am I going to do without you there to catch me? _


	3. Roman's High School Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post this chapter before continuing WNaUG. This is my longest chapter to date, being almost 4,000 words long. Hopefully, the new chapter for WNaUG will be out tomorrow!

“How was your day, Roman?” Mrs. Prince asked as she cut up her steak.

“Good, I guess?” Roman struggled out, not sure how to respond. Mom  _ never  _ asked how his day went.

“Very good. How was your day, Rebecca?”

“Same as always.” She snarked, not bothering to hide her disdain at the question. Looks like she was just as suspicious about their mother’s politeness. Or she was just pissed that Mom was using her full name. It could be either.

“Good, good.” She continued to cut her steak, as if this wasn’t the most she’s spoken to them this week. “I trust you’ve gotten along with Samantha?”

“Yes, mother.” They both said, barely suppressing their cringes. Samantha’s mom was their mom’s gossip buddy, so they were forced to hang out regularly. Samantha was a spoiled brat. Just a month into their freshman year, Samantha had somehow become the most popular girl in school. Roman mentally shuddered at how she hung off of his arm. She had told the entire school that they were dating, and Roman didn’t think his mother would be happy if he rejected her.

“Her mother mentioned that the school’s football tryouts are this week.” Mrs. Prince said casually. “You should join them, Roman.”

“Yes, mother.” Joining the football team meant he wouldn’t be able to join the school’s theatre, but if it made his parents proud…

“She also mentioned that Samantha’s trying out for the cheerleading team later this week. You should join her, Rebecca.”

Roman saw his twin grip her fork tighter. “Yes, mother.”

Mrs. Prince smiled, and Roman felt something stirring in his chest. “Our children are perfect, aren’t they John?”

“Of course,” John said gruffly, not looking up from his paper. “We raised them.”

* * *

“What are you doing here?” They were out on the football field. He tried to sound angry, but he was secretly relieved to have her here.

“I’m trying out for the football team, duh.” She strutted over, hands on her hips. “Now, where’s the tryout form?”

“You’re gonna get in trouble, Ree.” He warned, handing over the form.

“No, I’m not.” She filled out the form as she talked. “They won’t watch the games, so the information they’ll get is from your blonde bimbo of a girlfriend. And Sammy’s willing to trade her silence for some ‘tutoring.’ And if doing the bitch’s homework means I don’t have ta wear a skirt and shake around some pom-poms, then it’s a good deal for me.”

Roman ignored the comments about his ‘girlfriend.’ “The coach won’t let you play. It’s an all-boys team, remember?”

Something- hurt?- flashed across her face, before a cheeky smile replaced it. “You don’t need a dick to kick a ball.”

Sadly, the coach didn’t agree with her reasoning, but he didn’t care if she sat on the bleachers and watched. Roman ended up getting a spot on the football team, but it didn’t make him as happy as he thought it should. (It didn’t help that Ree had comforted him instead of praising him).

* * *

_ (Second half of sophomore year) _

“They’re going to kill you.” They were sitting outside of the barbershop Roman went to. His father went to the same one, but his mother and sister went to one that specialized in women.

“That’s why it’s exciting.” Ree responded, grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. Their mom had yelled at Rebecca a few days ago when she caught her going to school with her hair down. She had forced her to wear her hair up in a ponytail. It was Saturday now, and Ree had wanted to get her hair cut in retaliation. They walked into the shop, and Roman pointed out the man that normally did his hair. They approached him, and Ree pointed to Roman’s hair. “I would like my hair to be cut just like his, please.”

The man laughed. “Sorry, missy. We don’t do women’s cuts here.”

Roman couldn’t see Ree’s face, but he could hear the ice in her voice. “Why do you think I’m here?” She pulled the man down by his ear, whispering something before handing him something else. His face paled slightly.

“Of course! R-right away!” He quickly sat her down in a chair, being quick yet meticulous with his snipping. It took about 30 minutes, but Ree now had the exact same hairstyle as Roman. Actually, if it wasn’t for their different clothing (speaking of which, wasn’t that Roman’s jacket?), you might not be able to tell them apart.

They walked out of the barbershop together, a new skip in Ree’s step. Roman sighed. “How long d’you think it’ll take for them to notice?”

She scoffed. “Since we’re usually gone before they wake up? Two months, at least. 

* * *

It took four months, actually. It didn’t help that every time she saw Ree, she immediately thought that it was Roman. Why didn’t she freak out when she thought that she hadn’t seen her daughter in four months? Who knows. She actually freaked out while she was at Samantha’s house. Samantha’s mom had ordered a yearbook, and they were both surprised to see nearly identical photos for Rebecca and Roman. She had immediately told their father, and they told Roman to go to bed early that night. He sat there in silence, hearing them scream.

“YOU ARE SUCH A DISGRACE!”

“SAMANTHA SAID YOU HAVEN’T BEEN TO A SINGLE CHEERLEADING MEETING! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?”

“THE  _ FOOTBALL FIELD!  _ WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING THERE?”

“AND YOUR LOSING THAT  _ ATROCIOUS  _ HAIRCUT THE MOMENT YOUR GROWS OUT, MISSY!”

“YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, CAN YOU?”

Roman didn’t even realize that he was crying until he felt tears soak through his jeans. Why were they upset? She went to the football field because  _ Roman  _ was there. She got that haircut because it was  _ Roman’s  _ haircut.  _ Why is it wrong for Ree to be like me?  _ He choked on his tears.  _ Why is it wrong to be like me? Is it wrong to be me? _

* * *

“Why are you still texting her?” Roman looked up, surprised to find Rebecca leaning in his doorframe. “I thought you wanted to break up with her.”

“What do you want, Ree?” It was a genuine question; after her fight with their parents two months ago, Rebecca was almost always found out of the house. While Roman also spent a lot of time out, it had been a while since they’ve talked outside of the occasional ‘hello.’

“Is it wrong to drop in and say hi to my favorite brother?” She smirked, walking into the room.

“It is when the last time you ‘dropped in’ we got in trouble for getting your hair cut.”

She sighed. “First of all,  _ you  _ didn’t get in trouble. Second, there’s something I need to tell you.” She sat on the bed next to him. “Look, I know I haven’t been around a lot-”

“That’s an understatement.” He griped, not realizing he said it until she paused.

“Look, I know you’re a little angry, but-”

“A little?! A LITTLE?! I’m fucking  _ pissed. Your  _ behavior is starting to ruin my life. Mom spent  _ two hours  _ yelling at me yesterday because she thought I was you. They’re so busy trying to reign you in that they’ve forgotten that I exist!”

She huffed. “You think I’ve got it any better? The only reason they’re giving me any attention is because I’m acting ‘rebellious.’”

Roman shot up. “By acting like me! I’m- I’m- I’m SICK OF THIS!”

She stiffened. “Sick of  _ what?” _

He didn’t pay attention to the ice in her voice(or maybe he was too angry to care). “I’M SICK OF  _ YOU!  _ EVERY TIME YOU ACT OUT, YOU START TO LOOK AND ACT MORE LIKE ME! AND EVERY TIME, YOU’RE TOLD IT’S WRONG! THAT BEING  _ ME  _ IS WRONG! I REFUSE TO LOSE WHATEVER I HAVE LEFT WITH MOM AND DAD  _ JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO JEALOUS TO NOT ACT LIKE ME!”  _ They stood there for several moments, Roman panting and Rebecca too shocked to move. Finally, Roman spoke. “Look, I’m sorry I took that out on you. It’s not your fault that our parents are jerks. I- I just so  _ angry  _ from yesterday and-” He stopped, taking a deep breath in. “I need some time to myself. To calm down and think.” He grabbed his bag. “I’m gonna head over to Patton’s house tonight and cool off. We can talk about whatever you wanted to tell me tomorrow.” He stepped out of the room, knowing that he’d just get more upset if he looked at her. “I love you, Ree. You’ll always be my sister. But I need a moment to breathe.” And with that, he left.

* * *

Roman sighed as he walked into the house. He had spent last night at Patton’s house, barely able to fall asleep. He’d been a real dick to Rebecca yesterday. She didn’t deserve his pettiness and self-doubt. He walked towards her room, ready to apologize, when he noticed that the door was wide open.  _ Ree NEVER leaves her door open. What’s going on?  _ He stepped into her room and gasped.

The room was bare. All of her drawings were gone, and her walls were still wet from the white paint covering them. The bed was bare, and the floor was spotless. There was nothing to indicate that this room had ever been lived in.  _ What happened? _

Roman heard something downstairs and practically ran, nearly running into his mother. She had an overfilled garbage bag in her arms, with what looked like a drawing sticking out. “Watch where you’re going, sweety.” She said, her voice hard despite her kind-ish words.

“What’s going on? Where’s Ree?” He watched her smile fade in an instant.

“What are you talking about, Roman?” She shoved her way past him, going outside to throw the bag away. Roman noticed several other bags that weren’t there yesterday.

“What are you doing? Where’s my sis-” Roman suddenly had a hand covering his mouth. His eyes grew fearful as he stared at his mother.

“Listen here  _ you little shit.  _ You’re an only child now.  _ Someone  _ decided that she couldn’t be our perfect little daughter and ran away. She’s probably dead in a ditch. Because that’s what happens to  _ bad children that don’t behave.”  _ She smiled again, and Roman suddenly wished that he would never see her smile again.  _ “You’re not a bad little boy, are you Roman?” _ He shook his head frantically. “Good.” She let go of his mouth, turning around to go back inside. “Why don’t you go play in your room, sweety?” He shuddered but obeyed.

* * *

He walked up to the barbershop, his head held high. It’s been 2 weeks since Rebecca left, and Roman was forced to act like he was an only child. He tried bringing up his lack of sister again to his parents, but a slap to the face shut that up real quick. He walked up to the barber and demanded, “I need a new hair look.”

The man glanced over at him suspiciously, and slightly nervous. “What, not wantin’ to look like your brothah anymore?”

Roman glared, slight tears forming in his eyes. “I AM the brother. She’s… gone.” He sighed. “Will you do my hair or not?”

The man stared at him for a long moment. Finally, he turned towards the chair. “What type of style are ya lookin’ for?”

Roman sat in the chair, Rebecca staring back at him through the mirror. She glared at him. “Anything else.”

Roman returned home with shorter, red-streaked hair. He kept his hood up anytime he was home.

* * *

School started up again, and Roman found himself back on the football field for tryouts. He heard a woman laugh, and he immediately turned, expecting to see Rebecca. He watched as Samantha ran up to one of the other players, planting a kiss on his lips. He turned away. He and Samantha had broken up on the first day of school, and she had found herself a new boyfriend the same day. He looked at the empty bleachers, a pit forming in his stomach. He quickly walked up to the coach, informing him that he wouldn’t be on the team this year.  _ They don’t watch the games anyway. _

* * *

Roman stood still, listening to his mother as she chatted with the new neighbor. The basket of muffins was heavy, but he didn’t let it show. He was just about to tune out their conversation when something the neighbor said caught his interest.

“Yeah, our little Val’s starting kindergarten this year.” The man said, ruffling said girl’s hair. “My husband and I moved here since it was closer to her school.” Roman almost dropped the basket.  _ Husband? _

His mom suddenly yanked the basket out of his hands. He watched as she basically  _ shoved  _ the basket into the man’s hands. “Well, it’s been a pleasure.” She said, her voice suddenly ice cold. “Come along now, Roman.” Roman quickly followed.

When they stepped inside the house, Roman spoke without thinking. “I didn’t know men could have-mmph!” A hand was covering his mouth again.

_ “They can’t.”  _ His mother all but hissed out. “He and his  _ fuckbuddy  _ are going to burn in hell with their whore of a daughter. Because boys don’t kiss boys. Got it?” He nodded. “Good.” His mother turned away, apparently done with their conversation.

* * *

“Well, better to be healthy and safe, than sick or dead,” Logan said, adjusting his tie. They were behind the highschool arguing about the reasons to get out of bed in the morning. They had their last class together, and it was common to see them arguing out to their cars. Patton- Logan’s boyfriend and the only reason they met- had work immediately after school, so he usually left them to their arguments.

“Tis better to have risked and lost than never to have risked at all.” Roman quipped back, venom lacing his voice. These arguments had become almost therapeutic, allowing Roman to feel anything other than apathy.

“You have to be healthy before you can pursue any of the  _ nonsense  _ that you’re suggesting.” He took a step forward.

“Oh! So now I’m nonsense! Well at least I am not-” He couldn’t even hear what he was saying, the sounds of his blood rushing and Logan attempting to talk over him invading his senses. Suddenly his back was flush against the wall, Logan’s face less than an inch from his own.

“Nerd!” His lips were so close-

“Prep!” His breath was on his lips-

_ ‘Boys don’t kiss boys!’ she said.  _ He stared for a moment longer before his vision went red.  _ Fuck it. _

He surged upwards, meeting Logan’s lips in a searing kiss. Part of him was happy when Logan kissed back- the rest of him didn’t care. He grabbed the front of Logan’s shirt, trying to pull him closer. He gave a satisfied groan when Logan’s hands went to grab his ass. He licked the bottom of Logan’s lip, seeking entrance. He whined when Logan pulled away. Their faces were both red as they panted.

“Pardon my ineloquence, but  _ what the fuck.”  _ Logan managed out.

Roman tried to smirk, still drunk from the kiss and running on pure emotion. “What? Can’t take the heat, Pocket Protector?”

If Logan took offense from the nickname, he didn’t show it. “I can ‘take the heat’ as you put it. What I’m wondering is why Roman Prince, an openly heterosexual man, just made out with a taken gay man that he was just shouting at.” He frowned at Roman, and he’s gonna leave Roman, just like she did.  _ ‘Because that’s what happens to bad children that don’t behave. You’re not a bad little boy, are you Roman?’ _

_ I am. I’ve been pining over my best friend and his boyfriend for months. I just kissed a taken man, and I felt more than I ever did kissing Samantha. Now I’ve fucked up. I’m gonna drive them away, just like I drove ReeRee away. I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t- _

A hand rested on his lower back, rubbing in slow, deliberate motions, and Roman  _ broke.  _ He collapsed onto the person in front of him, burying his face into her shoulder.  _ “I’m so sorry Ree.”  _ He sobbed out.  _ “I’m just so tired all the time and I can only feel when I’m with Pat and Lo- oh Lo, I just kissed Lo! I kissed a man and I’m gonna burn in hell but I don’t care! Because I’m in love with two men and I’m gonna push ‘em away just like I pushed you away and I-” _

“Shh,” Another hand brushed the back of his neck, and Roman sobbed, going boneless in her arms. “You need to breathe.” She whispered, tapping the back of his next in a repetitive motion. “In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. You can do it, Roman.” They stood there for several moments, Roman’s breathing evening as his vision went black. For the first time in a while, Roman fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Roman groaned slowly waking up. He sat up only to find himself… in a car? When did he get here? 

“Ah, you’re awake.” Roman’s head whipped around, seeing Logan in the driver’s seat. They were sitting in his car, still parked in the school parking lot. “I believe you experienced an anxiety attack before losing consciousness.” He spoke softly, as if Roman would run away. “What do you remember?”

Roman groaned again, suddenly remembering what had happened. The argument, the meltdown, the kiss-

He gasped, his hand going to touch his lips. He kissed Logan.  _ He  _ kissed Logan. He  _ kissed  _ Logan. He kissed  _ Logan. He kissed Logan! He- _

“You need to breathe.” Logan’s hand was on his, tapping out a steady rhythm. Roman nodded, breathing along to the tempo. They sat like that for several minutes before Roman spoke up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I let my emotions take control. I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me ever agai-”

There’s no need to apologize.” Logan said, straightening his tie. “If anything,  _ I  _ should be the one apologizing.”

Roman’s jaw dropped. “Huh?” Why should  _ Logan  _ have to apologize?

“You were emotionally and quite possibly mentally compromised at the moment. By kissing you back, I took advantage of your ability to give proper consent. For that, I apologize.” They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. “Were you telling the truth when…”

Roman scoffed. “I, like most people, tend to forget the specifics of what they say during a panic attack. I’m going to need clarification, Specs.”

Logan shifted, seeming much more hesitant. “When you collapsed, you said-” he swallowed. “You said you were in love with me. And Patton.” He looked into Roman’s eyes, his face painfully bare. “Is this true?”

Roman froze before he sighed. Might as well tell him, right? Worst possible outcome, he pushes them away and he ends up alone for the rest of his miserable life. “Yeah. I’ve been crushing on you guys for a while now. Didn’t realize it until today.” He snorted. “Didn’t know being gay was a  _ thing  _ until a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” More awkward silence, and Roman wondered if he should head home now. He went to open the car door, when Logan suddenly spoke. “I’vehadacrushonyoutoo!”

Roman paused, hand still on the door handle. “What?”

Logan cleared his throat, his cheeks tomato red. “I have also had a ‘crush’ on you for a while now. And while I would need Patton’s consent before I develop a full relationship with you, I would not be opposed to another kiss.”

Roman stared, slack-jawed.  _ Logan, _ smart, beautiful, brave  _ Logan,  _ had a crush on  _ Roman?  _ His mind registered the rest of what he said. “Wouldn’t that be cheating on him?”

Logan shook his head. “No. Patton and I are in fact polyamorous.” At Roman’s questioning look he sighed. “My apologies. I seem to have forgotten your lack of knowledge in terms of the LGBTQ+ community. Being polyamorous means, to me and Patton at least, that it is acceptable to have multiple partners as long as all members of the relationship acknowledge and give consent.” He adjusted his glasses. “Therefore, before our relationship can progress beyond…  _ this,  _ I must gain consent from Patton. I’m sure he will be very accepting and-”

“Don’ttellPatton!” Roman yelled suddenly. He wanted- no, he  _ needed-  _ something that didn’t require permission. Something that was 100%  _ his  _ choice, with no input or influence other than his own. “Not yet. We won’t go past making out I swear, but… I need this to stay between us for now. Please”

Logan stared for a few minutes before he sighed. He reached out and wiped Roman’s cheek with his thumb- apparently, he was crying again. “Alright.” Logan finally said. “But until we tell Patton, this relationship will not progress. Understood.”

Roman smirked, using Logan’s tie to pull him closer. “Understood, Microsoft Nerd.”

* * *

It’s been four months since Roman first kissed Logan, and they’ve developed somewhat of a pattern. Every Friday, when Patton went to work, Roman and Logan would make their way to the back of the school, an argument in full swing. Once the coast was clear, they would either continue their argument, make out in the middle of the parking lot, or make out in one of their cars. It was a sound system, with only one fault.

_ Thunk. _

Logan and Roman turned to see Patton staring at them. Tears were already forming in his eyes and a box of chocolates now sat at his feet.  _ Patton must’ve taken today off to surprise Logan.  _ Roman could see tears forming in Patton’s eyes. He reached out for him. “Pat, I-”

Patton was already gone. Roman watched as Logan left too, trying to catch Patton. Roman’s shoulders slumped, tears forming in his eyes. He got into his car and drove home, not caring if his parents would notice him being home too early.

* * *

It was Saturday now, Valentine’s Day, and Roman felt like  _ shit.  _ Ever since Patton caught them making out yesterday, Roman hadn’t seen a point in getting out of bed. He felt fresh tears forming in his eyes and he held them back with pure spite. Roman checked his phone (not like he needed to, no one texted him) and nearly dropped his phone when he saw a message from Logan.

_ L- (8:00 AM) I have calmed Patton down and explained the situation to the best of my ability. I suggest you be here for the rest of this conversation. _

_ R- (10:04 AM) What time do you want me over? _

_ L- (10:05 AM) As soon as conveniently possible. _

_ R- (10:05 AM) I’ll be over in 10 _

After that, they had a  _ long-overdue  _ conversation. Apparently, Patton had a crush on Roman too, but he had assumed that Logan preferred Roman over Patton.  _ “I had completely forgotten about our poly-agreement, Lo.” He had admitted through tears. “And I couldn’t stand the thought of the two men I loved leaving me for each other.”  _ After many tears and laughs and kisses, they agreed to form a polyamorous relationship. Roman didn’t care if his parents disagreed. Logan and Patton were  _ his  _ boyfriends, and the Princes weren’t taking away the people he loved. Not again.


	4. Dress to Impress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WNaUG Chapter 3:  
> V- (12:54 PM) Yeah. My friend Remus felt bad for wanting to wear a dress so me and Janus went dress shopping with him.

(Takes place 1-2 weeks after chapter 1, _ Why Janus owes Virgil a Katana) _

Virgil hummed to himself as he cleaned up the kitchen. They had just eaten breakfast (blueberry pancakes, made by Virgil) and Virgil had volunteered to clean up. Well, ‘volunteered’ wouldn’t be the right word. More like ‘shooed his friends out of the kitchen.’ Janus was awful at cooking and most forms of cleaning, so he mainly stuck to dusting and laundry. Remus knew how to clean the kitchen, but Virgil didn’t trust him. This was the nicest kitchen Virgil had ever seen, and he didn’t want Remus messing it up. And Virgil had the most experience with cooking and cleaning, since he did it at the orphanage, so it made sense that he would be the one to cook and clean for the three of them. And if cooking and cleaning meant he got to stay, then-

Virgil shook his head, banishing the thoughts. He did this because he  _ wanted to,  _ not because he was  _ obligated to.  _ He was cooking for his  _ friends,  _ and cleaning the mess that  _ he  _ made. This wasn’t like the orphanage or foster homes. There was no debt or cost to be here.

Virgil sighed, stepping out of the kitchen. It wasn’t even noon yet, so he had time to waste. He would probably go and write some song lyrics; Remus had suggested forming a band around a year ago, and Virgil was surprised that Janus took the suggestion seriously. They currently had almost a dozen songs out with positive reviews, and Virgil had volunteered to write the lyrics for their next song. He had been toying around with a few ideas. His favorite one at the moment was a simple song about New Year’s Resolutions and Lying-

“Ah!” Virgil yelled as he fell. He hit the carpet with a dull  _ thud.  _ He glared at the innocent-looking object that he had tripped on: a pillow. What was it doing downstairs? Virgil sighed.  _ Remus.  _ He got up and grabbed the pillow, intending on smacking Remus in the face with it. He silently made his way up the stairs and down the hallway where Remus’ room lay. He listened for any signs of  life and heard…  _ singing?  _ He slowly opened the door, shocked by what he saw.

Remus was in the middle of the room, twirling around in circles. His dress-  _ no, _ Virgil realized as he did a double-take,  _ that’s a bed sheet-  _ fanned out around him, and Remus giggled as he sang.

_ “Are we dancing _

_ Are we really here _

_ Is this feeling something real  _

_ Or will it disappear” _

Virgil quietly brought out his phone and pressed the record button, wanting to capture this moment for Janus. He and Remus had just gotten together a few weeks ago, and neither he nor Virgil got to see this side of Remus often. Remus tended to act overly masculine, complete with dick jokes and gay humor. In all honesty, Virgil and Janus hadn’t realized that Remus was trans until they found a used tampon in the trash a year after he moved in. They didn’t really care that Remus didn’t have a dick, but Virgil had a feeling that Remus acted overly-masculine because of it.

_ “Are we dancing _

_ Does the music soar _

_ Was this lovely song I hear  _

_ Ever heard before” _

Virgil smiled, ending the video. He pocketed his phone before knocking on the door. “Remus?”

Remus jumped, his song ending abruptly. He stared at Virgil, gaping like a fish. He looked down at the sheet covering him, then back at Virgil. He shook his head. “VeeVee!” He said, a slightly-deranged smile in place. “Wanna wear a toga with me? We can fight like we’re in the coliseum, getting mauled to death by lions!”

Virgil smiled softly, leaning up against the doorframe. “That’s not supposed to be a toga, is it?” He watched as Remus’ face fell and sighed. “You know there’s nothing wrong with liking dresses, right?”

Remus sighed, looking down at the sheet. “I know, but… I ran away from this. The heels, the makeup, the dresses… I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a  _ man  _ now, with a career and a boyfriend and a name that fits  _ me.  _ If I turn back to these, I’m just turning back to being  _ her.”  _ He smiled again, his eyes shiny. “And besides, it’s not like this is  _ actually  _ a dress. If I decide it’s a toga halfway through, then who’s gonna stop me?”

Virgil frowned. “First of all, you do there’s a difference between being feminine and being female, right? You don’t have to identify as a girl to like things that are stereotypically ‘girly.’ Second of all, you do realize that Janus would buy you a dress if you asked-”

“NO!” Remus yelled, eyes snapping up to meet Virgil’s. Virgil flinched, partly out of surprise and partly out of fear. Remus tended to be loud, yes, but not  _ that  _ loud. Virgil watched as Remus wiped away the one tear that made its way down his face. “ _ Please  _ don’t tell Janus about this.” He said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “He’s got enough on his plate as it is and I don’t wanna make him deal with my shit on top of it.”

Virgil sighed, throwing the pillow that he’d brought with him up on the bed. “I won’t tell him about this. But  _ you  _ should.” Virgil turned around, stopping in the doorway. “And if he somehow finds out about this, you need to come clean. He’s not gonna judge you for wanting to wear a dress.”

Remus sighed, gripping the bedsheet between his fingers. “Yeah, I know.”

* * *

Virgil sat down in front of Janus. “We need to talk.” It had been three days since Virgil had caught Remus with the bedsheet, and this was the first time since then that Virgil and Janus were left alone in the house. Janus tended to leave a lot, usually dealing with family affairs or business dealings for  _ The Dark Sides.  _ Remus also left the house sparingly, usually accompanied by Virgil or Janus. Today was Virgil’s lucky day. Janus had nothing planned today, and Remus was going to the book signing of a local horror author that he liked.

Janus looked up, setting his coffee cup down. “I’m listening.”

Virgil paused, feeling guilty. “I promised that I wouldn’t tell you about an incident that happened three days ago.” He pulled his phone out, sliding it across the table. “But there might be an interesting video on my phone that  _ may  _ correlate with that incident.” He purposefully looked away as Janus watched the video. Virgil expected him to speak as soon as the video was over. He was surprised to hear the video play again. He looked over at Janus, who had an almost…  _ awed  _ look on his face.

“I’ve never seen him this… relaxed.” Janus whispered, his lips twitching at video Remus’ giggle. He looked up at Virgil. “Why…” He stopped himself, before answering his own question. “He probably thinks that he has to be fully masculine in order to be male.” He pulled out his own phone. “I assume you assured him of this, but he dissuaded you from telling me so I wouldn’t buy him a dress?” Virgil nodded. “Well, that won’t do at all.” He scrolled through his phone for a moment before speaking again. “There. We should be good now.” He set his phone on the table, revealing his calendar for the month. “It’s still Remus’ birth-month. Might as well do some celebratory shopping.” He smirked. “Now, how do  _ you  _ feel about dresses, Virgil?”

* * *

Virgil smirked as he watched Remus bounce in his seat. Janus was driving them to the mall as a final birth-month present for Remus. Which was part of the truth. Remus squealed. “Ooh, I heard that they added an all-you-can-eat sushi bar to the food court! We  _ have  _ to try it out!”

Janus smiled as he parked the car. “Of course, dear. But we have a specific store that we need to stop at first.” Virgil and Janus ignored Remus’ onslaught of questions as they guided him through the mall. It was a pretty large mall, and they got lost twice, but eventually they reached their destination.

“Guys,” Remus laughed out nervously, eyeing the expensive dresses in the store’s window. “Why are we here?”

“Well,” Janus said, adjusting his hat. “I’ve been wanting to purchase myself a dress for a while now, and Virgil expressed a similar desire when I mentioned it to him. I hope you do not mind if we shop here for a few minutes. Is that alright, Love?”

Remus growled, turning to point accusingly at Virgil. “You told him, didn’t you?” He asked, his face turning red.

Janus gently grabbed Remus’ hand, pressing it against his own chest. “Virgil didn’t tell me anything. Whatever are you speaking of, Darling?”

Remus stared at him for a few minutes before sighing, all signs of aggression leaving him in an instant. “I’m sorry Janus.” He said softly, tears forming in his eyes. “I just… I  _ wanna  _ wear a dress, and heels, and makeup. But I…” He choked off, looking up at Janus pleadingly.

Janus smiled softly. “You’re afraid that liking feminine things will prevent you from being Remus.” Remus nodded. Janus cupped his face with his hands, wiping away tears. “Darling, there  _ is  _ a difference between being feminine and being a woman. Just as there’s a difference between being masculine and being a man. You can still be a man and like to wear dresses and skirts. Virgil likes to wear eyeshadow; does that make Virgil a woman?” Remus shook his head. “Then why should it apply differently to you?” He removed his hands from Remus’ face, taking a step back. “Now, while this isn’t mandatory, I would  _ love  _ to go dress shopping with you. Will you accompany me on this adventure?” He held out his hand, a small smile on his lips.

Remus laughed, wiping away his tears. “You can’t have an adventure without me!” He grabbed Janus’ hand, leading him into the store. “C’mon, JanJan! You too, Vee! We’re going shopping!”


End file.
